FÖRKROSSAD

Jag tror att jag har blivit drabbad av allt dåligt en utbytesstudent kan bli drabbad av. 
I lördags fick jag väldigt, väldigt dåliga nyheter.

Något jag inte har berättat för er är att jag för två veckor sedan fick ett epileptiskt anfall (jag och min familj är nästan helt säkra på att det orsakades av all stress och dålig sömn AFS utsatt mig för under de senaste veckorna). Jag har aldrig fått det förr i hela mitt liv och jag fick åka in med ambulans och göra massa tester. 
Det visade sig att jag haft en benägenhet till epilepsi i hela mitt liv, men det har inte hänt något förrän nu. 
Varken jag eller min familj tror att det kommer hända igen utan att det bara var för omständigheterna. 

Jag var fortfarande okej med att åka iväg, mina föräldrar var okej med att jag fortfarande skulle åka iväg och så var även min värdfamilj (faktum är att föräldrarna är läkare båda två) och AFS Sverige. 

De sa att de skulle prata med AFS USA och se vad de skulle säga om saken. Jag sa att jag skulle göra vad som krävdes, till och med ta vilken slags medicin som de tyckte va nödvändig även fast jag egentligen inte har epilepsi (man kan inte kalla det epilepsi om man bara fått det en gång).

Så hände det. Fyra dagar innan jag skulle åka på min andra uppskjutna resa, så ringer dem och säger att jag inte får åka längre. Inte till USA, inte till något annat land heller. 

De tycker det är för stor risk att skicka iväg mig så snart efter anfallet. Jag blir så himla ledsen, förkrossad och framförallt förbannad för det är typ deras fel att jag fick anfallet från början för de fått mig att bli så uppstressad och allt, så de minsta de kan göra är väl att skicka iväg mig ändå.. Det kan ju hända ett anfall där lika mycket som det kan hända här hemma. Och det är inget farligt med epilepsi så. Känns som att jag nu bara kommer få gå runt hemma och vänta på att få ett till anfall. De sa att jag möjligen kan åka i Januari, ett halvår, för då har jag avvaktat så pass länge.
 
Men nu är jag så himla förbannad på AFS så om jag tänker åka någon gång så tänker jag verkligen inte åka med dem. Vet att jag låter som värsta pessimisten men nu tycker jag att jag har all rätt att vara det. 

Visst tänker kanske ni, synd, men det är väl bara att fortsätta sitt år som att man aldrig lämnat det? 
Riktigt så enkelt är det inte. 
I över ett år har jag varit inställd på att åka nu, och i flera år har det varit min dröm. 

Och nu helt plötsligt, med bara ett telefonsamtal och en mening, så förändras hela ens liv
Det hjälper ju inte att jag vill byta linje och har redan missat en månad i skolan.. 

Jag försöker verkligen tänka positivt, på allt jag kan va med om här hemma nu, och att allt har någon mening. Men det är svårt och kommer ta en lång tid att smälta tror jag. Varje gång jag kollar på en amerikansk film och tänker 'det där kunde varit jag', eller hör min kompis berätta om hennes utbytesår.
 
Det här skulle ju bli mitt år. Jag skulle ut och hitta mig själv där ute i världen. Kändes som det verkligen var dags för mig att bara åka iväg, lämna allt, upptäcka nya saker, ta en paus från skolan. 

MEN det kanske fortfarande finns hopp. Kanske kan jag åka till Australien i Januari (de börjar sitt år i Januari) eller så går jag ett halvår i USA, eller så försöker jag hitta någon annan organisation nästa år som kan ta emot mig (jag är för gammal för att åka till usa nästa år, iaf med afs) eller något annat land eller så åker jag på collegeyear efter studenten, men dit dröjer det ju länge..

Någon som har något tips/råd? Skulle vara väldigt tacksamt.

Kommentarer
Postat av: Anonym

Förstår att det känns jobbigt och förjävligt, men din chans kommer!

Svar: ja det får vi hoppas!:(
Klara Strand

2013-09-10 @ 16:36:43
Postat av: Cecilia - Träning, Foto & Vardag. ❤

Men åh så hemskt!!!
Din familj verkade så bra, likaså staden du skulle få fara till, skolan osv...
Verkar väldigt orättvist att allt drabbar just dig.

Svar: ja det är förjävligt verkligen.. :(
Klara Strand

2013-09-10 @ 16:42:56
URL: http://ceciliasj.blogg.se
Postat av: Rebeccas E Ws mamma

Hittade din blogg via Rebeccas blogg och var nyfiken på hur det gick för dig eftersom det var sånt strul med din avresa.. Blir så himla ledsen för din skull när jag läser detta. Har ju levt med en dotters stora förväntningar och längtan på nära håll och kan riktigt känna hur allt brakar samman. Jag hoppas att du mår bra med din epilepsi och att de kan hitta en möjlighet för dig att komma ut och få din dröm uppfylld på ett kanske lite annorlunda sätt men ändå få möjligheten att komma iväg..

Svar: Hoppas det är bra med Rebecca, läser hennes blogg varje dag och försöker hålla mig uppdaterad och se hur hon har det! Jadå det är bra med epilepsin tack, ja det får vi verkligen hoppas!
Klara Strand

2013-09-10 @ 17:31:05
Postat av: Anonym

Får du tillbaka pengarna?

Svar: Inte helt säker än, men som det ser ut nu så ser det ut som att jag får allt tillbaka!
Klara Strand

2013-09-10 @ 22:51:54
Postat av: Ralle

Jag tror att du kan åka med Explorius nästa år också! En tjej som var med mig i NYC var 18 när hon åkte!! Explorius garanterar ju placering i USA och de har varit hur bra som helst för mig hela tiden! KRAMAR TILL DIG KLARIS

Svar: okej, får kolla upp det då! puss Ralle <3
Klara Strand

2013-09-11 @ 02:58:51
Postat av: Emmy

Åh fy sjutton vad tråkigt... Lider med dig!! Jag ska åka till usa nästa år och att få höra att man INTE får åka skulle göra så man blev förkrossad... Åh! Men hur gammal är du? Jag är född i oktober 96, så jag kommer fylla 18 i usa då nästa år! Tänkte om du inte är för gammal så kanske du kan åka nästa år?

Hoppas det löser sig.,.

Svar: ja det är det verkligen! :/ jag är född i februari 96, tydligen så har min organisation (afs) en regel att man får åka när man är max 18 år och 5 månader, och för mig blir det preciiis att jag blir för gammal..men ska kolla med andra organisationer! Tack så mycket!
Klara Strand

2013-09-12 @ 14:34:19
Postat av: Prestonclirl

sbobet ibc

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เปรียบเทียบราคาบอลทั้งราคาแฮนดิแคปและ1X2
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ดูบอลcth

2017-03-25 @ 04:16:03
Postat av: CharlesRet

แนะนำเว็บให้บริการ sbobet เข้าไม่ได้

บริการดีมากครับ พนักงานพูดสุภาพมากๆ ประทับใจมากครับ ไม่เคยคิดจะเปลี่ยนเว็ปเลย มีปัญหาโทรได้ตลอด 24 ชั่วโมง ใช้บริการกับ sbobet7x มาได้สักพัก ไม่มีปัญหาอะไร โปรโมชั่นก็ได้จริง ขอบคุณมากครับ บริการดีครับ ทำรายการอะไรต่าง ๆ ก็รวดเร็ว ขอให้บริการดี ๆ แบบนี้ตลอดไปนะครับ
แทงบอลออนไลน์


ประทับใจการฝากถอน บริการได้เร็วดี แม้จะเป็นช่วงเย็นๆ เห็นบอกว่าคนทำรายการเยอะก็ยังรอไม่เกิน 5 นาทีใช้บริการออนไลน์ผ่านหน้าเว็บไซต์ ทั้ง สมัครสมาชิก ฝากเงิน ถอนเงิน สะดวกดี ดีตรงไม่ต้องพูดคุยกับคน ผมชอบมาก มาสมัครแรกๆ ตอนแรกนึกว่าบบริการไม่ดี ไปไงไปมาบริการดีโครตครับ สอนผมตั้งแต่เล่นไม่เป็นและแทงบอลได้จนรวยทุกวันนี้

sbobet


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2017-04-23 @ 16:23:24
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2017-07-16 @ 18:58:33
Postat av: StaslPava

Типы Вагонка Киев
Вагонка киев – это высоко-качественная вагонка,
которая проходит строгий контроль качества.
https://eco-les.club/news/tip_vagonka_kiev - вагонка киев сосна с сучком
Работники компании эко лес строго следят за производством вагонки Киев.
Большое значение при производстве вагонки Киев уделяется процессу сушки древесины на производстве.
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Не маловажным аспектом является процесс обработки древесины при поступлении на производство.
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Вагонка киев изготавливается из разных пород древесины, таких как вагонка киев ольха которая может быть как, с сучком,
который придает особую изюминку в интерьере помещений многие дизайнеры заказывают именно такую вагонку, так как запах древесины в помещении,
а именно ольхи, придает особый шарм помещению.
https://eco-les.club/news/tip_vagonka_kiev - вагонка ольхаТакже вагонка киев ольха может изготавливается из отборной древесины без сучков. Второй вариант изготовления вагонки киев из сосны эта вагонка имеет более смолянистую структуру и более выраженный запах сосны.
Вагонка киев сосна, также широко используется дизайнерами как отличное решение дизайна внутри помещений при том что вагонка киев сосна имеет более выраженный запах сосны. Вагонка киев сосна так же может, изготавливается как с сучком, так и из отборной древесины без сучка.
Третий вариант вагонки киев- это вагонка киев липа, которая имеет более мягкую структуру волокон, и очень проста в монтаже на стенах и потолках. Вагонка киев липа нашла свое широкое применение в отделе саун и широко используется в ассортименте все для саун, все для бани.
Наши специалисты компании ЭкоЛес проходят международное обучение по стандартам SETAM, за рубежом покупая любую продукцию в компании Эколес вы будете уверены, что приобрели экологически чистую продукцию, которая отвечает международным стандартам качества и прошла, абсолютна все экологические тесты и экспертизы.
При покупке древесины остерегайтесь не качественной продукции.
https://eco-les.club/news/tip_vagonka_kiev - вагонка для бани киев
Вагонка – это пиломатериал идеально строганный, который сразу же применяется в декоре помещений как внутри так и снаружи строения.
Она представляет собой не толстую, определенного размера длинны и ширины. Вагонку изготавливают как из дешевых сортов древесины так и с дорогих.
Вагонка киев разделяется на сорта в зависимости от качества дерева и столярных работ.Низшим сортом является сучки на пиломатериале,
их количество и размеры, смолянистые выделение на древесине, наличие коры, присутствие гнили или отверстия от жуков, неровность, вмятины и т.д.
https://eco-les.club/news/vagonka
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вагонка киев ольха с сучком
вагонка киев сосна без сучка
вагонка киев сосна с сучком
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https://eco-les.club/news/tip_vagonka_kiev - вагонка киев с сучком
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2017-07-21 @ 16:14:30
Postat av: Jameswor

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